They're Gone

My kids left on Wednesday at 5:00pm to go to their Dads for his first extended vacation with them. They won't be back with me until 9:00am next Friday (8/8).

I don't think I'll make it :(

The Step Drama Conclusion

I picked up my kids this morning from their Dad's house. They've been with him and their Step Mom for the last 5 days. (They'll be with me and Step Dad (their other Dad, they call him) for the next 9 days.)

A conversation ensues as soon as I back out of ex's driveway.

Daughter - "Friday was the best day of my life. Chris (Step Mom) was having a complete melt down. She was throwing things, screaming and swearing."

Me - "How does that become the best day of your life?"

Daughter - "Because Dad finally yelled back at her. He told her she was self-centered and that he was sick of her melt downs and tantrums. He said that she thinks of no one else, but herself."


Wow! Hallelujah! Their Father is finally standing up to her. It's about freaking time!

He may actually NOT loose his kids if he can manage to retrain his 2nd wife on the proper way to behave and treat him and his children.


There's a favorite line that Dr. Phil always says and that is:

"You treat people how to treat you."

It's so true.!

Everyone's been walking on egg shells around Step Mom for so long now. Nobody wants to put her in her place or call her out because she's trying to have a baby and can't. Oh well... sorry about that. I honestly am. But you can't just be a witch forever because life didn't go the way you wanted it to.

And my ex-husband can't allow his wife to do and say mean things to our children because she is hurting over the cards she was dealt. He can't sacrifice our children because she is on hormones. I'm sure his wife isn't screaming, swearing and throwing things at her place of work. That wouldn't be allowed. But she's been able to get away with horrible behavior in her own home for so long and hopefully it will get better now.

Anyway... the kids are here now. They are excited about our vacation and are helping each other pack.

The drama is over for us for the next 9 days.

(But not for my ex-husband, I'll bet ... *wink* *wink*)

What Did She Just Say??

Five weeks ago, I gave the dates to my ex-husband for my two 9-Day, uninterrupted vacations, that he and I both get during the summer with our kids. These uninterrupted vacations over-rule our normal split custody.

I took my first vacation with the kids a couple of weeks ago.

My second vacation with them starts tomorrow (7/22).

My daughter calls me yesterday (Sunday 7/20) and here is our short conversation.

"I'm forced to call you."

"What's going on?"

"Dad & Chris told me to call you to find out what we're doing on vacation with you."

"Why?"

"Because they want me to go to Volleyball camp. I don't even want to go. It's not through the school. And we're going to be on vacation, right?"

"Well, when is volleyball camp?"

"Tommorrow."

"WHAT? Tomorrow as in day after today????"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm sorry, you'll be unable to go. We will be on vacation then. We're going to CP & SC for a couple of days."

"That's what I told Chris (Step Mom) and she said,
well... your Mom can change her dates on that."

NOW...

Insert LOUD HYSTERICAL UNCONTROLLABLE laughter here as I try to spit out coherent words in response to that RIDICULOUS statement...

"Ummmmm, *Snort* *ROTF* I am not changing my dates on anything. Have your Father email me if he'd like to discuss it."

"Ok, that's what I'll tell them."

And we hang up.


SIDE BAR 1:
My ex-husband and his wife are FOREVER signing my kids up for stuff, year round, non stop WITH never a consultation or inquiry to me about it. Even when it interferes with my court ordered parenting time. We have gone back and forth on this for years and I won't go any deeper into that drama today, but lets just say, that I am very accommodating to my children's' sports schedules because it's something my kids want to do. I adjust my schedule for my children.

I have let my ex-husband know that I will happily cooperate with schedule adjustments so that "J" (our son) can play hockey in the fall/winter and lacrosse in the spring. "S" (our daughter) can play any school sport or be involved with anything through her high school during the school year. BUT there are to be NO COMMITMENTS during the summer. If you choose to sign them up for "stuff" in the summer, they will NOT be available during my court ordered parenting time.

(As a Mother who values time with my kids, family & friends, I don't think it's too much to ask that my children have some "down-time" from constant commitments and continuous weekend games/practices/tournaments for the precious 2 1/2 months of summer vacation)

SIDE BAR 2:
Did I not give him/them 5 weeks notice on this vacation?
Do they have their heads so far up their a$$'s in attempts to produce yet another child to neglect, that they can't manage to mention "volleyball camp" a little sooner than TWO DAYS BEFORE IT STARTS??? HELLLLLOOOOOOOOO???????

We could have switched our plans with proper notice. My husband took 3 days off of work this week. We are NOT changing our plans with two days notice because they don't have their crap together. DUH!!



What NERVE! I can't even believe that Biotch had the hormonal balls to say "well... your Mom can change her dates on that."

But then again, I can.

You gotta almost feel sorry for the crazy woman. Poor thing. She can't control what we do on our time and it drives her batty.


So my daughter called today to tell me her Step Mom's response to us being on vacation at CP & SC.

"Chris said,... well maybe we're not going to pay for you to play volleyball and soccer this year, since you're obviously not committed."


WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY????

My vacation, planned FIVE WEEKS AGO! has nothing to do with my daughters commitment to her sports.

I am the parent. I made vacation plans with MY kids as I have the RIGHT to do.

DO NOT VISIT YOUR ANGER OF YOUR INABILITY TO CONTROL ME, ON MY DAUGHTER!!!

God! That Biotch makes me so mad. She's just talking out of her a$$ and is constantly making threatening comments such as that, like the immature baby that she is, just to hurt and assert her power over my kids.

Take your "hostile uterus" and Go to He11!

Cause "we're going on vacation!"

Stepmama Drama

I have avoided posting, in detail, the fact that my children's Step mom has been trying to have a child of her own with my ex-husband. (She has no children).

The go of it has been unsuccessful for them for at least of couple of years now.

Not that it is any of my business, I personally, along with many others, do not believe that my ex-husband actually wants any more children. He had 3 at one time, stopped talking to the oldest, has no idea how many times the middle one wants to walk away from him ... so, why would he really want to attempt his fate with more? I'm sure he "goes along" with his 2nd wife's desire and need to have a child between them, because... gee... what else can he do? Besides, if the child care responsibilities are anything like they were when I was married to him, she'll be doing most of the work, but I digress...

His 2nd wife has a "hostile uterus" as she herself has exclaimed the doctor's told her in one of her blog posts.

Really?

A hostile uterus??

Go figure, right??

Could it possibly be the cortisol that obviously runs through her veins from the constant stress she brings on herself, by trying to pretend I don't exist or ever slept with the man she is now married too???

She actually blamed me once for her inability to get pregnant, in yet another blog post, because I referenced the church I married my ex-husband in at one of my daughters volleyball games when my daughter was playing that same Catholic school. (Next time, don't sit so close to me and you won't have to eavesdrop on my conversations that aren't with you in the first place)

There I go again straying from the point of the post ... sorry.


Anyway, they/she tried everything, including in vitro as recently as July 4th of this year and apparently, the three eggs implanted, did not "stick".

I honestly do not take any pleasure in her inability to get pregnant. I'm not a hurtful hateful person. I am only interested how "what she does" and "what she says" affects my children. Period.


Unfortunately, my children are in "that house" while their Step mom suffers with her sad news, until tomorrow morning at 9:00am, when I pick them up for their next 9 day vacation with me.

My kids have called me often since they went to their Dad's Wednesday evening with claims of not being able to wait to get back home with me.

"We have so much to tell you Mom when you pick us up on Tuesday. Me and "J" (my son) can't wait to get out of here."


My kids aren't supposed to even know they're trying to have a baby. "They" (ex-husband and Step Mom) haven't discussed it with the children, BUT because of frequent screaming sessions and chats in "the crying room" (the basement where Step Mom goes to vent), used pregnancy tests found in the trash, and overheard phone conversations, my kids started asking me questions a long time ago and they know. DUH!

They know that "their college funds" have been tapped.

They know that "they" (ex-husband & Step Mom) can't afford ANYTHING. At all. Ever. (And that somehow, this is also supposed to be attributed to me, because Jesus H. Christ, ex-hubby had to pay me child support 5 YEARS AGO, when they DROVE the oldest daughter to come live with me full time. They paid child support for 9 months 5 years ago. Are they in debt over that???)

Did I stray again?

I did, didn't I?



So ... I imagine it's been pretty stressful over there at Dad's house this past week.

Understandably so.

Poor kids. I'm sure it's not been much of a summer vacation while having to deal with the trauma over there, yet not having the ability to speak of it or ask questions.

Tune in tomorrow when they spill the beans to me over our 23 mile trip back home ...

Am I the only one?

I have seen hundreds of blogs written by stepmother's about their awful dealings with a bio mom and I sincerely feel for those step moms. But I have yet to see a blog where the tables are turned where the bio Mom is trying to make the shared custody situation work and the step mom is making it DIFFICULT!

I am the Mom and have to deal with a horrific step mom to my children. I share custody of my kids with my ex-husband. It's nearly 50/50. I have always been very involved with my children, yet this 2ND wife came along and felt the need to insert herself as my children's mother. She's been competing with me (by herself) for about 5 years now. I will not compete. I don't need to compete. I'm just living my life as a wife, daughter, sister, grandmother, and mother.

I was all for having my ex-husbands new wife as a friend. A companion that I would share stories about the children with. An addition to the bleachers as we watched the children compete in sports, concerts and plays together.... NOT TO BE!

From day 1, this new woman in ex-hubby's life deemed my friendship with ex-hubby, ex-in-laws, ex-brother in-laws, ex-sister in-laws INAPPROPRIATE! WHAT??? Lines were drawn in the sand. It was the beginning of the end for any hope of my children's childhood remaining peaceful. And her venom has affected almost every single member of my ex's family as some struggle to maintain their strong bonds and friendships with me. Those who have chosen to remain friends with me are not spoken too any longer by ex and his wife. (This includes 2 brothers and their wives and cousin here and there)

My oldest daughter has not spoken to her father in over 2 years. She has lost her paternal grandparents and her place in her father's side of the family. It was just easier for her, by her own decision as an adult to just drop out of the hatred and the pressure to "choose" a parent. I never made her choose. Stepmom made her choose. And so Daughter did. Who couldn't see that one coming??

Can I possibly be the only Mom who has to deal with this?