Cedar Chest Memories

There is an antique cedar chest, passed down to me from my Mother, that sits at the foot of our bed.

It holds all my sentimental items from my children's baby photos, all the little pictures and gifts my kids have made me to every single card my husband has given me.

Every time I lift it's squeaky lid, I am flooded with the smell of cedar and an almost overflowing collection of memories.

Mark and I recently celebrated our 9 year wedding anniversary so I was putting the anniversary cards away in it.

Feeling a little melancholy today and missing my kids... I know I shouldn't have "lingered" there...

But I did...

And although I teared up a little at some of the children's precious projects and words to me, I also smiled a lot when I came across my high school yearbook, scrapbook, wedding album, as well as an old photo of my sister and I.

Here is my graduation picture.



Here is Mark's (husband) graduation picture. We both graduated in the same class at the same school in 1982.



Here is a yearbook picture of Mark and I in the halls of our high school.



These are my best friends from high school. From left to right: Bob (Bobby to me, lol), Irene, Mark (my husband), Me, Darrin (my highschool sweetheart of three years) & Dave. This picture was taken on Senior Skip Day. My boyfriend Darrin was good friends with my husband Mark. Bob & Mark are still best friends to this day. Bob dated my best friend Irene so we were a pretty tight group back then.



This picture was taken on Graduation night when all of us seniors had a bon fire at the lake to burn all of our homework and term papers. Left to right Bobby, Darrin, & Mark.



Here's Mark and Darrin at an "after prom party" that we went to. Mark and his date, Bob & Irene and Darrin and I all went to prom together.



Here is Mark and I on our wedding day, July 25th, 1999.



Now I'm so nostalgic over these photo's and memories. I'm listening to 80's music and reminiscing.



Here's the picture of me and my sister. We are 9 months apart.

Blame it on the Pillow

See that pretty little pillow, with the roses on it, gracing the middle of our bed?

Well... let's just say...

If my husband and I were to ever divorce...

We can blame it on the pillow.


I acquired that pillow from an auction on ebay. It was made from a salvaged vintage Wilender rose patterned tablecloth. I really like the way it ties our light blue gingham comforter and bedding to the little pink roses in the dark blue wallpaper, that covers the bottom half of the walls.


We have a beautiful, queen size, mahogany wood, four poster bed. It sits so high off the ground, that I will require one of those little sets of steps to get up into, when I get a little older. It has an excellent mattress set, covered with a down mattress protector, followed by Egyptian cotton sheets, followed by a lightweight down comforter, with yet another decorative comforter on top of that. The end of the bed holds a vintage popcorn chenille bedspread with an heirloom style quilted blanket throw on top of that. There are 6 pillows at the head of the bed and two layered white eyelet lace bed skirts, under the box springs, to cover the enormous space between the frame and the floor.

Most people could and would do without ALL that stuff on their bed, but I truly like the way it looks, and more than that... the way it feels. All the fluff makes me feel safe and cozy.



My husband makes that bed everyday. I kid you not... he makes our bed every single day. He pulls the flat sheet up and folds it over the the two comforters, making sure that each layer is shown. He picks up and straightens the two blankets that have inevitably slipped down onto the cedar chest, at the foot of our bed sometime during the night. He fluffs up the pillows and even arranges them so that the three different sets of pillowcases match up side by side as they are stacked three deep.

But... he won't pick up, and put back, the Wilender roses pillow that he "flicks or swats backhanded" off the bed every night. I find it every morning, on the floor, next to my side of the bed.

I've asked him about the pillow in a joking manner a few times. I always get a vague, slightly unresponsive answer, as to why the pillow remains on the floor day after day. It doesn't make sense to be able to put together a bed that most men would find intimidating and challenging, yet leave that one little ole' pillow behind.

Every once in awhile I will find the pillow on the bed, but turned vertical like the picture below.



Now, don't get me wrong. I am not complaining. I could never be mad at him about the pillow on the floor. The guy makes the bed. I can pick the pillow up. No problem. I just find it humorous.


Like a cat that shows it's protest by peeing outside the litter box... I believe that leaving the pillow on the floor is my husbands way of saying...

There's enough shit on the bed.

Jealousy & Envy

In my first marriage, I can remember feeling jealous and envious of friends and family more times than I’d care to count.

The reasons were always ridiculous and immature.


“They have more money than me.”

“Their house is nicer than mine.”

“She’s thinner than me.”

“Their kids are better dressed than mine.”

Blah… blah… blah…

What a waste of time and energy. Looking back now, I realize how unhappy I was. I was in this very unsatisfying marriage for years. It drained the life right out of me. I became petty. I could gossip for hours. I felt lonely and angry.

Ugggghhhhh. I cringe at the thought of that person I once was.


But when I married my second husband, my true identity came out and something within me really started to shine. I could honestly feel a physical/emotional change from the moment I fell in love with him. I laughed much more. Rarely found reason to raise my voice in anger. Gossip became something I had no time or desire to engage in.

I truly started appreciating the gifts in my life.
I became a better Mother, a better Sister, a better Daughter and a better friend. I can’t tell you how many times friends and family have literally said “I can tell you’re so happy” to me. I changed almost instantly and it was a fabulous difference from the woman I had been before.

I have not felt jealous or envious of anyone or anything in years. And I know it has to do with my husband.

I wouldn’t trade my happiness with him for anything.

Not for more money

Not for a nicer house

Not for a thinner body

Not even for better dressed kids ;)

His friendship and love allowed me to be the person that was always jealously and enviously waiting to live her life.

I Couldn't Be Happier

My husband and I had a delightful 4th of July weekend together. The kids were at their Dad's, so we had lots of time to do stuff and "nothing" together.

We swam in the pool on Saturday and played board games out on the back deck well past darkness. It was so fun. We listened to music, slept with the windows open and ate breakfast with fresh raspberries from our garden.

Our little 3 year old granddaughter came over for a visit and of course, we just love spending time with her.

Then when 9:00am on Tuesday FINALLY arrived, thus began a 9 day "uninterrupted" vacation for me and my children. And so far, I have savored every moment of it. You may or may not know what it is like to be without your children for periods of time. It is, sadly, a casualty of divorce in my situation. On one hand, I'm am happy that their Dad chose to remain a part of their lives. He wouldn't settle for being a weekend Dad and I do commend him for that. On the other hand... days go by that I don't see my kids. In the beginning, shortly after our divorce, being apart from them was excruciating for me. I couldn't make it from Wednesday to Sunday without some kind of meltdown from missing them. I always ended up in tears by Sunday at 6:00pm. But as time has gone on, I've been able to adjust to the schedule. It is what it is. I learned to accept it.

And so, since my kids have been here, we've been hanging out together. Eating together on nights that they are usually with their Dad. Watching TV shows that they are sometimes not here for. Playing cards. Swimming in the pool. Watching movies. Playing volleyball. Making brownies.

There is more laundry this week. The dishwasher is running every day. There's grass all over the back stairs and towels strewn over the chairs on the deck. We're running out of food.

There are still 6 more overnights together.

And I couldn't be happier...

The Missing Elusive Sock

Wouldn't you know... On my last load of laundry today, I come up with a lone sock missing it's mate.

It prompted me to find my old "sock" article and repost it.

THE ELUSIVE SOCK:

There are times when I've done the laundry, as most have, and come up with a missing sock. The missing socks in our home always turn right up in the next load. A sock is never alone for long here.

But two weeks ago, one of my husband's socks was missing it's mate and it didn't turn up in the next load... or the next.... or the next.... never!

This really troubled my organized (anal) husband. He was sincerely bothered about the missing sock. He was concerned about it's whereabouts.... what happened to it.... well, where was it.... how can a sock just disappear?? .... (You'd not really believe how many conversations turned to where the damn sock was or did I find it yet, lol)

So ... not only was he concerned about the missing sock.... he simply did not know what to do with the "non-missing" sock! He actually asked me "What should I do with this sock??" (HUH?!)

I put the lone sock in his sock drawer with sure anticipation that it's mate would soon turn up. My husband took the lone sock out of his drawer. (He couldn't have the lone sock in his drawer... it apparently messed him up, LOL)

So the lone sock sat on top of his dresser for a couple days. This must have mis-aligned him with the planets, and caused sever anxiety, because he moved it to the top of my dresser. Now, I'm bothered. Why do I have to have his lone sock on MY dresser? Why do I have to look at his lone sock for weeks anyway??

So... I put it in a place where it could be found when the mate turned up.

The mate never turned up.

FAST FORWARD A COUPLE OF WEEKS!

I get a phone call from husband while he's at work.

Husband:
"Do you want to hear something funny?"

Me:
"Of course, I do"

Husband:
"I got to work and went to rest my arm on my desk and felt a bulge in my shirt sleeve."

Me:
"OH THE MISSING ELUSIVE SOCK!!!" (ummm... THANK GOD!)

Husband:
"Yeah, the sock. I walked around all morning, at home, with this shirt on. I drank coffee. I brushed my teeth. I shaved. I put my coat on. I drove the kids to school and then drove all the way to work. And it was only when I put my arm on my desk that I realized there was a BULGE in my sleeve."

Me:
"Cool...I'll go tell the good news to the lonely sock and prepare him for the reunion."

Dang it, I can't find it! Now that sock is missing.

ps. I guess I'll start checking shirt sleeves.

Date Night Wednesday

My husband and I have a date night every week. It's usually on Wednesday's or Thursday's.

We had our weekly date night last night.

We went downtown to one of the three local casino's near us to catch the baseball game, have a couple (few) beers and do a little gambling.

It was fun. We both won a little here and there and actually left with $20.00 more than we went in with.

We were home by 9:30pm.

I'm convinced that taking the time to nurture our marriage and relationship is key to "it's" happiness. So many couples garner all their attention towards their children and forget about each other. I am guilty of this in my first marriage although there were many other reasons it fell apart too.

Take a minute to hug the love in your life. Look into their eyes to tell them "I love you". Call them at lunch to say "I was just thinking about you". It goes a long way.

Date Night

Well... it's Wednesday.

That means it's date night with my husband. I love the fact that we go out every Wednesday. It's a great way for us to stay connected. We both look forward to Wednesday nights for all kinds of reasons.

I don't know where we going tonight and I don't know what we're doing... doesn't matter. I'll be with my best friend. It's always good!

Great Weekend

My birthday is tomorrow.

Wow... I'll be 44. Where did the time go?

My husband took me downtown to a casino and out to eat to celebrate. We had sooooooo much fun together. We walked out of the casino $300.00 richer than when we walked in. Then we went to a great restaurant with fabulous greek food. We had saganaki, lemon rice soup and gyro's. Yum! Then we came home and settled in for the night with a couple of good movies. I'm sure I've mentioned before how much I love and adore my husband. We'll celebrate 9 years of marriage together this year and my love for him grows stronger every day. He is a perfect match to me and so satisfying to be in the company of.

Yesterday was spent reading the paper, listening to music and just relaxing together. My husband and I did not want the weekend to end nor did we want to get out of bed this morning. But it's Monday. We both have work to do and it's back to the routine of the week.

I'm off to make dinner for my wonderful husband. I get butterflies still... knowing he'll be walking in the door soon....

Today I am torn

I am always torn between my two distinct lives every other Wednesday. As my children go to their Dad's tonight, I segue from being a full time Mother this last week to a married couple without kids this upcoming week. Every other Wednesday is simply bittersweet for me.

This week, I will miss my kids not being here. I will miss meals with them. I will miss the sound of their laughter (and even the sound of their bickering). I will miss their week here that is focused on family togetherness, chock full of the things we have come to enjoy as a family, like movie nights, bonfires, trips to the park, baseball games, basketball in the driveway, poker on the back deck with the CD player playing our favorite music or playing a slew of board games.

It's all about my kids when they are with us. We do what they want to do. They know this. And they have grown to cherish this.

This week I will reconnect with my Husband. We have the opportunity to do just what he and I want to do. With such a terrific friendship that is our foundation, we both look forward to whatever exciting adventure we want to embark on during our "childless" weekends like checking into a romantic hotel with a jacuzzi AND a fireplace, going antiquing, (YES, he enjoys that.... I know... "lucky girl"!), meeting friends for dinner and drinks, staying in our sweats all weekend to watch movies and eat carry out, or working on home improvement projects.

It's all about my marriage when my Husband and I are alone. We do what we want to do. We know this. And we have grown to cherish this.

I miss my children when they are not here and yet I enjoy the intimacy and reconnection their absence allows my Husband and I. In our situation, life consists of the perfect balance. We are lucky. (We know this. And we have grown to cherish this).