Jealousy & Envy

In my first marriage, I can remember feeling jealous and envious of friends and family more times than I’d care to count.

The reasons were always ridiculous and immature.


“They have more money than me.”

“Their house is nicer than mine.”

“She’s thinner than me.”

“Their kids are better dressed than mine.”

Blah… blah… blah…

What a waste of time and energy. Looking back now, I realize how unhappy I was. I was in this very unsatisfying marriage for years. It drained the life right out of me. I became petty. I could gossip for hours. I felt lonely and angry.

Ugggghhhhh. I cringe at the thought of that person I once was.


But when I married my second husband, my true identity came out and something within me really started to shine. I could honestly feel a physical/emotional change from the moment I fell in love with him. I laughed much more. Rarely found reason to raise my voice in anger. Gossip became something I had no time or desire to engage in.

I truly started appreciating the gifts in my life.
I became a better Mother, a better Sister, a better Daughter and a better friend. I can’t tell you how many times friends and family have literally said “I can tell you’re so happy” to me. I changed almost instantly and it was a fabulous difference from the woman I had been before.

I have not felt jealous or envious of anyone or anything in years. And I know it has to do with my husband.

I wouldn’t trade my happiness with him for anything.

Not for more money

Not for a nicer house

Not for a thinner body

Not even for better dressed kids ;)

His friendship and love allowed me to be the person that was always jealously and enviously waiting to live her life.

Triple Milled Soap

I like to shop at T.J. Maxx. For those of you not familiar with that store, I would describe it as a place to find nicer “name-brand” items at discounted prices. I would even go so far as to say, you can find unique stuff there too.

Most of the store inventory is name brand clothing. I’m not really into clothes (or name brand anything) It’s the small amount of luxurious bath products and few home goods isles that draw me in.

I love to smell all the lotions, fragrances and soaps. I’m forever tipping the bottles and boxes upside down to see if the price is reasonable. The prices, even at a discount, are rarely reasonable, in my opinion.

But every once in great while, when they have done their seasonal markdowns, I will actually find something at a good price and buy it.

About a year ago, I saw a lovely purple box of Lavender triple milled soap. The box was covered in a fleur de lis pattern and had a satin ribbon tab for opening. Over the two bars of soap sat a piece of vellum paper, claiming the soap to be hand made of the finest natural ingredients. When I turned this beauty of a box over, the red markdown sticker, on the bottom, read $2.00. “Mine” I exclaimed loud enough for everyone to hear as I gently placed the treasure in my cart.





Oh how I have loved this box of triple milled soap (whatever triple milled means). I’ve opened it often throughout the year to take in the scent of lavender. I enjoy the way it sounds when I lift the lid up by it’s regal lavender ribbon. The bars are embossed with “Fior di Campo” (again… whatever that means… sounds fancy)

I have been saving this special box of soap for almost a year. It has graced my dresser, my vanity and the bathroom counter at different times through out the past months.

I never intended to actually use the soap. I just wanted to “have” the soap.

Dare to use one of the special triple milled lavender $1.00 bars of soap? Oh, I couldn’t… I’m saving them.

Saving them for what?? Am I leaving them to one of my girls when I die? (I wouldn’t bother leaving them to my son since he has shown himself to have no use for soap ;)

Today, when I went to shower, I noticed the bar soap, on the soap dish, was only a sliver so I went in the linen closet to get another bar.

We’re out of bar soap….

We’re out of bar soap, except for the special triple milled lavender soap in the regal looking box.

Can I shower without soap? I think NOT!

So, I reluctantly took out a bar of my special soap for the shower. It was difficult for me. I was saving that soap.

But, I’m OK now. The soap was really creamy and smelled delicious. I may actually use the other bar sometime, though highly doubtful.

The $285 T-Shirt

My husband has a favorite T-Shirt.

Wait a minute…

My husband has MANY favorite T-Shirts. He has a bunch of IT (Information Technologies) shirts that he gets through the work he does. He’s got a bunch of Detroit sports T-Shirts. He has two large dresser drawers devoted to nothing but T-Shirts, but I digress.

One of the T-shirts he wears a lot is the $285.00 T-shirt.

A couple of summers ago a group of our friends and family flew out to Las Vegas to vacation together. Although we enjoy staying at the Treasure Island, we often find ourselves down at a little joint called O’Shea’s. It’s this Irish themed casino right in the heart of strip, located somewhere between The Flamingo and Bally’s. They always have drink specials and you can play Black Jack there for $5.00 a hand.

This particular summer, O’Shea’s was running a promotion for Black Jack players. If you got a same suit Black Jack, you got a really cool O’Shea’s T-shirt. The shirt says “I got lucky at O’Shea’s” pictured with this cute rockin leprechaun on it.

Well… don’t you know, I won “my” T-shirt within an hour of playing on the first day we were there. My husband and I stayed to play Black Jack for hours that day, hoping that he could win a T-Shirt too. He didn’t. So we went back the next day. My husband had plenty of Black Jack’s… just no same suited Black Jack hands.

He wanted a T-Shirt in the worst way. You couldn’t buy them. They weren’t for sale. You had to win one. I offered to give him mine. (I don’t really wear T-Shirts anyway) Nope… he wasn’t having that. It’s not the same as winning one. He was becoming obsessed. Would somebody please get this guy a damn shirt already!

Jesus H. Christ… $285.00 later, he won his T-Shirt.

Thank God!

He wears his shirt to death. The other day, he wanted to wear it to a friends house for dinner, but when he went to put it on, I noticed a stain on the front.

“Sorry, honey… you can’t wear that shirt today. I can get the stain out with a bleach stick, but not before we have to leave.”

Oh my Gosh… poor guy. He was bumming.

I let him wear mine ; )

Company Inspires Cleaning

My sister and her two kids came over on Tuesday to spend the day with us. They were to arrive around 11:00am so that we could take the kids to lunch, go play a game of Lazer Tag, take a spin in the bumper cars, and then come back to my house for an afternoon in the pool.

My 15 year old daughter had done her weekly chores a couple of days earlier, but my son had not yet. So, I called him downstairs to do his part. He had to sweep and mop the kitchen (Whoever invented the Swiffer mop, I thank you from the bottom of my heart), empty all the trash cans (there are 6 of them), shake the rugs on the front porch and sweep it too.

I found myself wiping down the guest bathroom, vacuuming the living room, my office and my bedroom, cleaning the master bathroom (even though it's in our room and nobody will be using it cept hubby and me).

There was a time, back in my 20's (some 20 years ago) that my whole identity seemed to sadly revolve around a clean house. I was ridiculously obsessed with every detail. I had regular cleaning rituals each day and would get so anxious and downright crabby every time I threw a party or had company coming over. Geeze... what a looser!

I'm not that person anymore. Housework is way down on my list of priorities. I'm not a slob. Our home is always neat and I will scrub out a toilette if I've waited long enough for a ring to form, but I no longer have a cleaning day.

With the help of teenagers, the general surface housework gets done weekly around here. The kids dust, vacuum, clean their own bathroom, mop, sweep, unload/load the dishwasher, fold and put away their own clean clothes. They get paid an allowance for this and it really relieves me of a lot of work.

But thank God, we have company once in awhile, cuz it is then, that I really take a closer look at the things that may have been neglected for longer than they should have.

I should invite some friends over this weekend. The house won't be this clean for months.

My Smoothie Morning

I'm trying to take some weight off this summer and although I don't/can't do the no-carb diets, I have found that low-carb eating works well for me. Staying away from high carb foods helps me loose weight while not being hungry. (I hate being hungry)

In my efforts to find healthy alternatives to cereal for breakfast, I have become obsessed with fruit Smoothies.

Today's fruit was fresh raspberries from our garden, but I love them with pineapple, mandarin oranges, mango, blueberries, strawberries or 1/2 banana. Once all the ingredients are added together, it makes almost 2 Cups of drink and it keeps me full till lunchtime.

My cute little 2 1/4 Cup blender is just perfect for the job.

I start most mornings with the following recipe.

2 TBS Milled Flax Seed
1/3 Cup Light & Fit Vanilla Yogurt
1 Cup Vanilla Soy Milk
2 Scoops Whey & Protein Powder
1/3 Cup Fruit

That works out to about:

333 Calories, 10 Grams Fat, 7 Grams Fiber, 20 Grams Carbohydrates, and 36 Grams of Protein

YUM!!!
Good Morning Y'all. Have a SMOOTH day!

I Couldn't Be Happier

My husband and I had a delightful 4th of July weekend together. The kids were at their Dad's, so we had lots of time to do stuff and "nothing" together.

We swam in the pool on Saturday and played board games out on the back deck well past darkness. It was so fun. We listened to music, slept with the windows open and ate breakfast with fresh raspberries from our garden.

Our little 3 year old granddaughter came over for a visit and of course, we just love spending time with her.

Then when 9:00am on Tuesday FINALLY arrived, thus began a 9 day "uninterrupted" vacation for me and my children. And so far, I have savored every moment of it. You may or may not know what it is like to be without your children for periods of time. It is, sadly, a casualty of divorce in my situation. On one hand, I'm am happy that their Dad chose to remain a part of their lives. He wouldn't settle for being a weekend Dad and I do commend him for that. On the other hand... days go by that I don't see my kids. In the beginning, shortly after our divorce, being apart from them was excruciating for me. I couldn't make it from Wednesday to Sunday without some kind of meltdown from missing them. I always ended up in tears by Sunday at 6:00pm. But as time has gone on, I've been able to adjust to the schedule. It is what it is. I learned to accept it.

And so, since my kids have been here, we've been hanging out together. Eating together on nights that they are usually with their Dad. Watching TV shows that they are sometimes not here for. Playing cards. Swimming in the pool. Watching movies. Playing volleyball. Making brownies.

There is more laundry this week. The dishwasher is running every day. There's grass all over the back stairs and towels strewn over the chairs on the deck. We're running out of food.

There are still 6 more overnights together.

And I couldn't be happier...

Solicitors

I had two solicitors knock on my door yesterday.

The first solicitor was a girl, about 18 or 19, selling magazine subscriptions. She was very well spoken, very polite. I think she said that she was earning points for something to do with college.

I told her "no thank you" as politely as I could. I honestly get a ton a magazines. My mom, sister and I subscribe to many of them and share.

Then she wanted to know if I wanted to "donate" a subscription.

Again, "no thank you."

She practically begged me.


Later in the day, a young man knocked on my door. He looked to be around 20 years old. He was nicely dressed in a shirt and tie.

As soon as I opened the door, he shoved this can of air freshener in my hand claiming it to be a free gift. I was a little shocked and stunned. He was talking so fast and bouncing up and down on the porch. He asked me if I would accept his free gift and I said, well... I guess so. He thanked me and said, "I'll be right back." He ran to his car parked in front of my house and out pops another guy, around the same age, dressed the same way, and they both proceed to head up my porch steps with this big box. I said "What is this all about?" And one of them said, "Oh, we'd just like to show you some cleaning products."

I said, "Oh, no... I am not interested in seeing or buying cleaning products. I don't clean." (lol)

He said "That's ok, I know you're not going to buy anything, but I just want to show them to you."

I said "No, I don't want to see them. My husband will be home any minute and we're going out." (It was Wednesday night = Date night)

He said "Just let me clean a little area of your carpet."

I said "We have hard wood floors."

He said "I can clean that too."

No thank you.

Good God!!

I feel really sorry for the people who subject themselves to this kind of door to door sales tactic. Does anyone really ever buy anything?

They are relentless and don't take no for an answer.

I don't like to be abrupt or rude, but Gosh... it was really annoying to have to fend off two of them in one day.