I am the MOM and I was here FIRST!

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I am a 44 year old mother of three children and grandmother of one. I am divorced from my children's father whom I share joint physical custody of our youngest two children with. I have been married to my fabulous husband for over 9 near-perfect years. I LOVE this man! He is a wonderful generous, affectionate, tolerant and all forgiving husband. He is also a terrific step-dad/male role model to my kids and an even better grand father to our two year old grand daughter. My oldest daughter attends college to obtain her nursing degree. She has been on her own for over three years now (no longer part of a shared custody arrangement like her brother & sister) My middle daughter is in high school and plays on the freshmen volleyball & soccer teams. She's really creative and talented. My son is in middle school and plays hockey and lacrosse. He is a sweet sensitive boy who still says "I love you Mom" frequently. I work part time running an online ebay store. I have terrific and supportive relationships with my family, friends and of course my kids. I am extremely close to my sister, my Mom and my sister-in-laws. They are my best friends.


Monday, July 21, 2008

Jealousy & Envy

In my first marriage, I can remember feeling jealous and envious of friends and family more times than I’d care to count.

The reasons were always ridiculous and immature.

“They have more money than me.”

“Their house is nicer than mine.”

“She’s thinner than me.”

“Their kids are better dressed than mine.”

Blah… blah… blah…

What a waste of time and energy. Looking back now, I realize how unhappy I was. I was in this very unsatisfying marriage for years. It drained the life right out of me. I became petty. I could gossip for hours. I felt lonely and angry.

Ugggghhhhh. I cringe at the thought of that person I once was.

But when I married my second husband, my true identity came out and something within me really started to shine. I could honestly feel a physical/emotional change from the moment I fell in love with him. I laughed much more. Rarely found reason to raise my voice in anger. Gossip became something I had no time or desire to engage in.

I truly started appreciating the gifts in my life.
I became a better Mother, a better Sister, a better Daughter and a better friend. I can’t tell you how many times friends and family have literally said “I can tell you’re so happy” to me. I changed almost instantly and it was a fabulous difference from the woman I had been before.

I have not felt jealous or envious of anyone or anything in years. And I know it has to do with my husband.

I wouldn’t trade my happiness with him for anything.

Not for more money

Not for a nicer house

Not for a thinner body

Not even for better dressed kids ;)

His friendship and love allowed me to be the person that was always jealously and enviously waiting to live her life.

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