I am the MOM and I was here FIRST!
- I am the MOM
- I am a 44 year old mother of three children and grandmother of one. I am divorced from my children's father whom I share joint physical custody of our youngest two children with. I have been married to my fabulous husband for over 9 near-perfect years. I LOVE this man! He is a wonderful generous, affectionate, tolerant and all forgiving husband. He is also a terrific step-dad/male role model to my kids and an even better grand father to our two year old grand daughter. My oldest daughter attends college to obtain her nursing degree. She has been on her own for over three years now (no longer part of a shared custody arrangement like her brother & sister) My middle daughter is in high school and plays on the freshmen volleyball & soccer teams. She's really creative and talented. My son is in middle school and plays hockey and lacrosse. He is a sweet sensitive boy who still says "I love you Mom" frequently. I work part time running an online ebay store. I have terrific and supportive relationships with my family, friends and of course my kids. I am extremely close to my sister, my Mom and my sister-in-laws. They are my best friends.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Get my son's hockey fund raiser money in a marked envelope
Ship 2 packages
Fold one load of towels
Turn in the change jar (It's full and we've been saving change for a year for "extra" money for our trip)
Make a deposit
Set a vacation "away response" for my email and my business
Send my best friend a birthday card
Lose 20 pounds before Thursday
If you are in the volunteering mood, please pick one or more tasks from my list and help a fellow blogger out.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
And here is the shot of AFTER the kitchen got cleaned up.
The feast was nice. We ate at 2:00pm so that my oldest daughter would able to join us before she had to leave for her afternoon shift at the hospital. Our granddaughter was here for for most of the day. All three of the kids said thanks for the meal, each in their own way.
We watched the football game and my husband even looked like he wanted to take a nap for a little while (If only I'd let him, he said... LOL).
We ran into a small snag when the grandbaby came running down the stairs yelling "poop" over and over again.
Since I was cleaning the kitchen, Grandpa was left to attend to this "poop" matter. He was handling it quite well until he said
"Honey, come here."
I dried my hands on the dish towel and proceeded to the bathroom. There the two of them stood peering into the toilette.
"She dropped her little hair clippy thingy in there" he said.
The toilette hadn't been flushed since the .... shhhhh poop.
"Well, what'd you call me for? I don't want to see it." I said.
"Well, what should I do?" he asked.
I said "What would you like to do? Either fish it out or flush it down."
"Fish or flush, fool!"
He chose to flush it. (I hope we don't have to disclose that to the next homeowners of this house, LOL)
So all in all, it was just like a real Thanksgiving Day, which was our point.
Happy Thanksgiving y'all.
My husband is preparing the turkey for our Thanksgiving feast today. (As posted earlier, hubby and I will be away from the children on Thanksgiving this year)
"Ummmmm .... Honey, I can't find the giblets."
"They're in there."
"I don't think so."
"Did you search both ends."
"Did you look in both openings of the turkey."
"They are two openings?"
"Yeah, what'd you do? Just go up the butt?"
Husband: (cracking up)
"Yeah, I guess I did."
Husband: (after 30 seconds)
"Oh, there they are. They're in the neck cavity. Ewwwwww .... yuck!! ... , it's like a birthing packet!"
"Thanks for sharing!!!! What the hell is a birthing packet anyway??"
Friday, November 16, 2007
Today marks the start of what is sure to be, a fabulous stretch of 11 days for me and my family.
I get my kids today after school. They will be with us until Wednesday at 5:00pm.
I'm making Meatloaf in the crockpot for dinner tonight. Everyone in this house loves it. In a few short hours the wonderful aroma will start to fill the air, seeping out of any tiny cracks in the windows, making the construction guys, who are fixing my neighbors foundation, jealous with envy for a home cooked meal.
I will fill my gas tank up today in my lil' red Pontiac G6. What's so great about that you ask? It was exactly 2 weeks ago that it last needed a fill up.
We are decorating the house for Christmas this weekend. It is a family affair. It is fun. It is tradition. We will listen to Christmas music favorites. All family members will help and all will be joyful.
The University of Michigan will play (and beat) rival Ohio State in a great football game tomorrow.
Our pre-Thanksgiving family feast will be cooking in the early morning hours on Sunday. My children will awake to the smells of the holiday and the bustle of happy parents. The oldest daughter and granddaughter will join us for dinner. Everyone will recite what they are thankful for.
The kids are off from school on Wednesday and I plan on spending every moment of that day doing whatever they'd like to do with "Mom."
After the kids leave for their week at Dads at 5:00pm on Wednesday, I will start packing for our early morning flight that departs on Thanksgiving day out to Vegas. At about 8:30am (Vegas time), I will be re-united with my Mom and Step Dad whom I have been desperately missing. Later that day, my favorite Auntie Betty & fabulous Uncle Karl, will join the rest of us in the poker room for Thanksgiving dinner. We will watch the Detroit Lions in the sportsbook and retire to our rooms early, tuckered out from all the fun.
Friday morning, we will get up early and go walking to see "whats new" since last year. I will win a huge jackpot that day and bestow large amounts of cash and gifts on all my family and friends.
The rest of the Vegas vacation will be terrific. We'll come home on Monday afternoon, have the evening to relax and get the kids from school on Tuesday. The children will be thrilled with the "Vegas" T-shirts we got at 3/$10.00.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
If you give her candy, she'll say I love you.
If you give her candy, she'll smile for you.
She picked something out of the candy bowl. It was sour something or other?
Can you tell?
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
My son had a hockey tournament this past weekend. It was hosted at the home ice arena of the hockey team that my oldest daughter used to play on. Her team, the Michigan Capitals won the State Championship, for their AAA travel hockey division, back in April of 2002 and then went to Alaska to compete for the National title.
So, as State Champs, my oldest daughters hockey team picture is still proudly displayed in her home ice arena's showcase. My son and younger daughter were so excited to see their sister's picture. My son was told by his Father "NOT" to mention the photo or his sister to his team mates. My son told his team mates anyway when his Dad wasn't around. I am so proud of him for that!! My two youngest kids are barely allowed to acknowledge the very existence of their older sister when they are with their Father and Step Monster. Because my oldest daughter no longer has a relationship with her Father (because of Step Monster), Ex-husband and Step Monster like to pretend that she no longer exists.
FIRST HATEFUL COMMENT:
When my youngest daughter mentioned the hockey picture of her older sister to her Step Monster, her Step Monster said, "Well, if your sister wouldn't have gotten herself knocked up, she'd still be playing hockey."
What is really CRAZY about this comment is that the reason my oldest daughter stopped playing hockey is BECAUSE HER FATHER STOPPED PAYING FOR IT 4 DAYS BEFORE THE SEASON WAS ABOUT TO BEGIN! Step Monster convinced my ex that it was just too expensive and that if "they" were going to ever be able to move away, (from me) he would have to eliminate that bill.
I believe that my oldest daughter's Father taking away the very sport that almost identified who she was, and rejecting her, had much to do with her getting pregnant at 18 years old. She was an honor roll student every year. She was a talented hockey player, the top goal scorer for her team, with huge potential. She was being scouted by 2 colleges for hockey scholarships. She graduated from high school with honors and academic scholarships. She was a great kid who is know a GREAT young woman and GREAT Mother despite her Father's betrayal and absence.
And for that horrible woman to say such a degrading UNTRUTHFUL thing to a child who loves, adores and looks up to her big sister is nothing short of EVIL. It's HATEFUL!!
SECOND BOUT OF HATEFUL COMMENTS:
The ice arena that they were at for my son's hockey tournament is in my neck of the woods. So ex-husband/ Evil Step Monster and the kids wanted to go to Buffalo Wild Wings to eat dinner. My youngest daughter obviously knows her way around our city as she's lived here her whole life. So she says the street name of the Buffalo Wild Wings near our city of Lincoln Park.
Step Monster says, "We're not eating in Stinkin Park."
Daughter says, "It's Lincoln Park, NOT Stinkin Park. I don't like it when you call it Stinkin Park."
Step Monster says, "No... it's Stinkin Park."
Daughter says, "My Mother lives in that city and I live in that city and I don't like when you call it Stinkin Park."
Step Monster says, "No, you don't live in Stinkin Park. We moved you out of that city. You live in Canton."
Daughter says, "I live in Canton with my Father 1/2 the time and I live in Lincoln Park with my Mother 1/2 the time."
Step Monster says, "No, you live in Canton with your Father. You go to school in Canton. Your Dad's address is what is listed on your school records."
Daughter says, "I don't care what address is listed on my school records. I live with both of my parents. One lives in Canton. One lives in Lincoln Park."
Step Monster says, "Well, I don't care... I"m still going to call it Stinkin Park."
The city that I live in is the same city that my children live in when they are LIVING with me 1/2 of the time... it's the same city that my ex-husband shared a home with me and lived in for 6 years .... it's the same city that my ex-husbands Aunt/Uncle live in, right around the corner from me.... it's the same city that borders the city of my ex's parents home that they've lived in for over 20 years now.
My kids are getting old enough now to stand up and fight for what they believe in. They used to show indifference, out of fear of fighting back, to nasty negative comments about me, or their sister, or the city that I/we live in. But the kids are growing up. They don't like having their identity and loved ones trashed anymore.
Their Dad and Step Monster can pretend I don't exist. They can try to deceive my son's team mates about him having an older sister. They may fool the school into thinking that the kids only live with their Father and not me too. They may even delude themselves into thinking that I am only a visitation to my children and not an actual participating parent.
None of that matters to me or to my children.
After all ...
The relationship between my children and I, that endures and grows, despite evil attempts to extinguish it, ... does indeed exist.
And we grow stronger with each one of their efforts to snuff it out.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Great idea honey!
So he calls me from work at lunch yesterday to go over the menu for our feast. He was oddly excited as we talked about food. Turkeys are on sale. If I buy a turkey and $10.00 worth of food and 2 cases of Pepsi, I get a $15.00 rebate. (He says maybe he'll go back again tomorrow, do the whole deal/rebate/buy/spend thingy and have another rebate sent to my oldest daughters house. Only one rebate per household. You know the drill.)
He volunteered to go to the grocery store on his way home from work to get the goods.
Ok... what gives?? He doesn't like to grocery shop... And... he hates doing anything alone, let alone grocery shop.
Anyway, he calls me on his way home from the store, after he has shopped, to tell me to get the kids ready, unlock the back door and turn on the porch light.
Why?? Have you been drinking??
No, because I have a lot of stuff and I need all your help. Be ready to help in 5 minutes to come outside and give me a hand.
So the kids happily and with much excitement (NOT) got their shoes on and waited by the back door for him to get home.
We all grabbed bags and filled our arms with groceries. Between the 4 of us, we managed to get the food in the house in just two trips!
My husband placed a 19 pound turkey on the kitchen table and made us all "come see"
Come see what? The turkey? In it's plastic wrapper? What are we looking for .... or at? And why do you have that goofy look of satisfaction on your face? It's just a turkey, right? Or is there a winning lottery ticket up it's butt?
No... no lottery ticket, but look how much money I saved on the turkey.
Oh.... I'm sorry.... ok...of course.... good savings honey (children giggling in the background)
My daughter asked "What is all this stuff for anyway?"
We had wanted the dinner to be a surprise, but with enough food to open up a shelter, I had no choice but to reveal the pre-Thanksgiving feast plans.
"Oh great" she says. "Who else is coming over?"
Ummmmmmm...... no one, why?
Mom, we just filled two refrigerators with food. The turkey will take 4 days to thaw. Come on Mom... who else is coming?
Nope.... no one else.... Just go with it honey, your Step Dad is not too familiar with moderation.
And he's way to excited about all the money he saved. I will stroke his genius, money saving ego some more, and I may never have to step foot in a grocery store again.
Friday, November 9, 2007
I remembered your birthday today. You would have been 68 years old. I can't believe it's been 21 years since you left this earth when I was just 21 myself. The only granddaughter that you ever so briefly laid eyes on is now 21 herself.
I think about you all the time. I miss you terribly. Every year that goes by, my love and appreciation for your presence in my life continues to grow, almost as if you were still here. The impact you had on me shows itself more strongly as I creep up to the age that you were when you died.
My self-worth and self-love stem from the constant and consistent love you showered on me since the day I was born. If it's only one thing I was ever ever sure of growing up, it was my place in your heart. I knew I was special because you told me so. I knew I was the most important thing in your life, because you told me so.
Even though you and Mom divorced when I was in the third grade, you never missed a Sunday visit with me. Not once in all those years. Those Sunday's were crammed with a weeks worth of quality. You introduced me to Abbot & Costello, Shirley Temple and The Three Stooges. My love of baseball comes from you. Your silly sense of humor made me light and easy going. The sensitivity and empathy you displayed towards others led me to reach out and love without fear. You taught me to laugh, to live in the moment, to cherish friends, to take nothing for granted and to give back.
Even though you're not physically here, you're always within me. My life is a perfect example of all you ever cared about.
The world is no better for having lost you, but heaven is happy to have you. This I know.
Happy Birthday Dad. I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
My Mom & Dad, Sister & Brother-in-Law with kids in tow met my husband & I, with our kids in tow, downtown to check it out.
She and my Uncle Jack , whom is also an artist, are as close as my family gets to celebrities, lol
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
After he exited the bathroom, he said "Do you want to see something?" to my sister.
She's said, "ummmmmm I don't know if I want to see something after you've just left the bathroom"
He pulls up his shirt and there is a BIG RED round stain right there on his chest.
Apparently a red pen in his shirt pocket had leaked. The leak wasn't apparent from the front of the shirt.
My sister said it looked just like a bullseye.
That'll teach him to carry pens around in his pocket, (nerd... lol)
"Do you want to hear something else that is funny?"
"Of course, I do"
(thought bubble in my brain .... "oh what stupid thing did their step mom do or say now? LOL!"
"I got to work and went to rest my arm on my desk and felt a bulge in my shirt sleeve."
"OH THE MISSING ELUSIVE SOCK!!!"
"Yeah, the sock. I walked around all morning with this shirt on. I drank coffee. I brushed my teeth. I shaved. I put my coat on. I drove the kids to school and then drove all the way to work. And it was only when I put my arm on my desk that I realized there was a BULGE in my sleeve."
BACKGROUND ON THE MISSING SOCK:
There are times when I've done the laundry, as most have, and come up with a missing sock. The missing socks in our home always turn right up in the next load. A sock is never alone for long here.
But two weeks ago, a sock was missing it's mate and it didn't turn up in the next load... or the next.... or the next.... never!
This really troubled my organized (anal) husband. He was sincerely bothered about the missing sock. He was concerned about it's whereabouts.... what happened to it.... well, where was it.... how can a sock just disappear?? ....
And not only was he concerned about the missing sock.... he simply did not know what to do with the "non-missing" sock!
I put the lone sock in his sock drawer with sure anticipation that it's mate would turn up. My husband took the lone sock out of his drawer. (He couldn't have the lone sock in his drawer... it apparently messed him up, LOL)
So the lone sock sat on top of his dresser for a couple days. This must have mis-aligned him with the planets because he moved it to the top of my dresser, which bothered me. Why do I have to have his lone sock on my dresser? Why do I have to look at a lone sock for weeks anyway??
So... I put it in a place where it could be found when the mate turned up.
After my husband called to tell me about the "bulge", I went to retrieve the mate.
I can't find it!
Two years ago, when my son was in elementary school and my daughter started middle school, the kids started school too late in the morning for my husband to drop them off and still get to work on time. So I would do it. In the beginning of that first year, when the kids had different start times, I would drop my daughter off at her bus stop and then drop my son off at his Dad's so that he could catch the bus 1/2 hour later.
After about two weeks of doing this, my son begged me not to drop him off at his Dad's anymore on my mornings because his step mom was bothering him. She would analyze his outfits, his backpack, his lunch, his teeth, his hair... etc.... and make critical remarks about anything and everything. She took the key chains that he was collecting (from me) off of his back back and told him "they look gay". She made him take off his rubber "support our troops" bracelet (from me) and told him "it was girlie". Her behavior towards him literally made him sick to his stomach in the mornings.
So for two years while my kids had different start times, my son and I would "hang" out for the 1/2 hour difference so that he wouldn't have to deal with her.
Now that the boy is in the middle school and his Dad works from home, (Dad wasn't working from home two years ago and wasn't there to witness, stop, prevent or protect my son from his stepmother), my son feels like he can deal with her better or just avoid her in the mornings if he has too. (Remember the "Are you trying to grow a mustache?" post?)
So today, my husband calls me right after he dropped the kids off and said "the kids were really excited when I dropped them off this morning."
So... here's me..... before he could tell me why... I'm thinking.... oh... maybe they're going away over the weekend... maybe their Dad got them a surprise... Oh... what wonderful thing can it be?
Finally, I asked him "What are they so excited about?"
My husband said.... "Because their Step mom's car is not home."
"You would have thought they were going to Disney World"
Funny..... But Sad
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
The last few bags of donations from my massive clean-out were placed in my car trunk on Friday with the intention of dropping them off at the local Good Will before picking the kids up from school.
Well... time ran out and we didn't get a chance to deliver the bags on Friday like planned.
On Saturday evening, my son and I were preparing baked french toast for Sunday's breakfast when I realized that the 24 pack of eggs that my hubby and I bought on our Friday grocery run had NOT made their way into our cart or car .... grrrrrrrrrrr
So my son and I decided to run up to the local store to get MORE eggs. As I parked the car and turned off the radio, we heard this faint noise from within the car. It was kinda muffled. It was a deep voice. It was groaning and grumbling. It was a scary sounding.
My son slowly turned his head towards me in the driver seat with a look of sheer terror on his face. His eyes were really wide; His body movements were delayed as he strained to listen "where" the horrible sounds were coming from. He whispered... "Mom... what in the heck is that??"
I immediately recognized it as the talking Morphman monster that my son had decided he no longer wanted two weeks ago when we sorted out his room.
Apparently something was pressing up against it, making it talk. It was only in the silence that it could actually be heard. That toy always sounded as if there were a murder taking place so I was glad to be rid of it.
I was cracking up so hard once he realized what it was. And then he laughed too, although he admitted he was "REALLY freaked out" for a bit.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
The biggest college football rivalry in my home state.
University of Michigan (Gold & Blue) vs Michigan State (Green & White)
My husband and I are die hard U of M fans.
My son wants Michigan State to win.
I have friends who are die hard Michigan State fans. My best friend went to Michigan State. The game is at Michigan State, so she told me to watch for her and her hubby on TV today .... they'd be the two in the green shirts, LOL!
We are flying our U of M flag and having friends (Only the UofM fans, LOL) over to watch the game.
The losing teams die hard fans have to fly the rival flag for one week.
Again... GO BLUE!!!
Thursday, November 1, 2007
I couldn't believe it. It is less than a year old. It was the only gift that my son got (and wanted) for Christmas last year. It was almost $400.00 so it became his birthday gift for this past March too.
10 months of use and the hard drive crashed. RIDICULOUS!
However.... XBOX is fixing it for free because luckily it is still covered under warranty. They sent a box for it to be returned to Microsoft for repair. We sent it out about 3 weeks ago.
So... I got an automated phone call from UPS today stating that a package from Microsoft was due for delivery tomorrow (Thursday).
Yahoooooo..... my son will be so excited (and my husband too!)
The package will be delivered between 8:00AM and 7:00PM.
Ummmmmmm..... thanks for narrowing that down for me UPS!!!!
(Worse than the cable guy!)
One that I found effective is for me to just take the child
for a car ride and talk.
They usually calm down and stop misbehaving
after our car ride together.
I've included a photo below of one of my sessions
with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.
I think this will work with grandchildren, nieces, and nephews as well.