I am the MOM and I was here FIRST!

My photo
I am a 44 year old mother of three children and grandmother of one. I am divorced from my children's father whom I share joint physical custody of our youngest two children with. I have been married to my fabulous husband for over 9 near-perfect years. I LOVE this man! He is a wonderful generous, affectionate, tolerant and all forgiving husband. He is also a terrific step-dad/male role model to my kids and an even better grand father to our two year old grand daughter. My oldest daughter attends college to obtain her nursing degree. She has been on her own for over three years now (no longer part of a shared custody arrangement like her brother & sister) My middle daughter is in high school and plays on the freshmen volleyball & soccer teams. She's really creative and talented. My son is in middle school and plays hockey and lacrosse. He is a sweet sensitive boy who still says "I love you Mom" frequently. I work part time running an online ebay store. I have terrific and supportive relationships with my family, friends and of course my kids. I am extremely close to my sister, my Mom and my sister-in-laws. They are my best friends.


Sunday, July 27, 2008

Shock & Sadness

I haven’t had a whole lot to write since I’ve been back from our short holiday with the kids.

Our arrival home was met with a very sad phone call.

My Uncle Vince died while we were on vacation. My Mom, Sister, and oldest daughter waited until we got home before telling me/us.

My Uncle went in for a scheduled hip replacement surgery the other day. I had made a mental note to send him a card when I returned home from vacation.

The surgery went well and my Uncle was recovering nicely but then his blood started clotting. The hospital put him on thinners and he was told to lie very still. They told him not to even cough. But he died anyway.

This is such a shock to our family. He was only 60 something. He was a healthy person. He always exercised and watched his weight. His passing wasn’t even a remote thought to any of us.

Life just isn't fair sometimes.

I’d love to tell you about our special family bond to Uncle Vince.

My Uncle Vince “was” married to my Aunt Betty. Aunt Betty is my Mom’s sister. Uncle Vince and Aunt Betty have been divorced for years and years now, yet always remained friends.

Through the years, my Uncle Vince had become one of my Dad’s best friends. They were poker buddies. My Uncle used to work in marketing at the Mandalay Bay out in Vegas before retiring to Tennessee, where half of my family now resides. I’ve written before about meeting in Vegas for family vacations every year and so our visits out there always included time with Uncle Vince.

When my Aunt Betty decided to marry Karl in November of 2000 at The Monte Carlo in Vegas, it was my Uncle Vince that “gave” her away. Karl was always a big enough man to accept and embrace the love our family had for my Uncle Vince, despite the fact that his new wife was Uncle Vince's former wife.

We’re all originally from Michigan. Aunt Betty and Uncle Karl moved to Tennessee first. Then my parents retired there a few years ago. Then my cousin Rachel and her daughter moved there (She is Aunt Betty and Uncle Vince’s youngest daughter). Then Uncle Vince finally left Vegas for Tennessee. My sister and I are the only ones left here in Michigan now.

When Uncle Vince was waiting for the closing on his home, in Tennessee, it was Uncle Karl who insisted that Uncle Vince stay with him and Aunt Betty until it was time for the move, rather than stay in a hotel.

My sister and I, and our respective broods, would vacation in Tennessee during the summer. You should have seen “our family” take over “The Golden Corral Buffet” when meeting for meals. With the restaurants long tables, and food choices to satisfy even the pickiest of eaters, this was the best way to get together all at once, without a big mess to clean up afterwards. It was so nice to look across the table at this wonderful group of people laughing and sharing life.

And so we have been “one big happy family” for years. I always felt special to be a part of this unique family, because it wasn’t just my Aunt Betty and Uncle Vince who made it work. It was my Mom, it was my Dad, it was my cousins, it was Uncle Karl, it was us. And I had the pleasure of viewing my ideal version of what family life could be like after a marriage no longer worked. You’d never know that “divorce” was part of the equation. There was no “ex-husband”, “ex-wife”, “step-Dad” drama. There was no bitter animosity. Never was there a threatened insecure “new” spouse.

There was just a lot of love from an incredible family.

And we miss him.

No comments: