Blame it on the Pillow

See that pretty little pillow, with the roses on it, gracing the middle of our bed?

Well... let's just say...

If my husband and I were to ever divorce...

We can blame it on the pillow.


I acquired that pillow from an auction on ebay. It was made from a salvaged vintage Wilender rose patterned tablecloth. I really like the way it ties our light blue gingham comforter and bedding to the little pink roses in the dark blue wallpaper, that covers the bottom half of the walls.


We have a beautiful, queen size, mahogany wood, four poster bed. It sits so high off the ground, that I will require one of those little sets of steps to get up into, when I get a little older. It has an excellent mattress set, covered with a down mattress protector, followed by Egyptian cotton sheets, followed by a lightweight down comforter, with yet another decorative comforter on top of that. The end of the bed holds a vintage popcorn chenille bedspread with an heirloom style quilted blanket throw on top of that. There are 6 pillows at the head of the bed and two layered white eyelet lace bed skirts, under the box springs, to cover the enormous space between the frame and the floor.

Most people could and would do without ALL that stuff on their bed, but I truly like the way it looks, and more than that... the way it feels. All the fluff makes me feel safe and cozy.



My husband makes that bed everyday. I kid you not... he makes our bed every single day. He pulls the flat sheet up and folds it over the the two comforters, making sure that each layer is shown. He picks up and straightens the two blankets that have inevitably slipped down onto the cedar chest, at the foot of our bed sometime during the night. He fluffs up the pillows and even arranges them so that the three different sets of pillowcases match up side by side as they are stacked three deep.

But... he won't pick up, and put back, the Wilender roses pillow that he "flicks or swats backhanded" off the bed every night. I find it every morning, on the floor, next to my side of the bed.

I've asked him about the pillow in a joking manner a few times. I always get a vague, slightly unresponsive answer, as to why the pillow remains on the floor day after day. It doesn't make sense to be able to put together a bed that most men would find intimidating and challenging, yet leave that one little ole' pillow behind.

Every once in awhile I will find the pillow on the bed, but turned vertical like the picture below.



Now, don't get me wrong. I am not complaining. I could never be mad at him about the pillow on the floor. The guy makes the bed. I can pick the pillow up. No problem. I just find it humorous.


Like a cat that shows it's protest by peeing outside the litter box... I believe that leaving the pillow on the floor is my husbands way of saying...

There's enough shit on the bed.

Shock & Sadness

I haven’t had a whole lot to write since I’ve been back from our short holiday with the kids.

Our arrival home was met with a very sad phone call.

My Uncle Vince died while we were on vacation. My Mom, Sister, and oldest daughter waited until we got home before telling me/us.

My Uncle went in for a scheduled hip replacement surgery the other day. I had made a mental note to send him a card when I returned home from vacation.

The surgery went well and my Uncle was recovering nicely but then his blood started clotting. The hospital put him on thinners and he was told to lie very still. They told him not to even cough. But he died anyway.

This is such a shock to our family. He was only 60 something. He was a healthy person. He always exercised and watched his weight. His passing wasn’t even a remote thought to any of us.

Life just isn't fair sometimes.


I’d love to tell you about our special family bond to Uncle Vince.

My Uncle Vince “was” married to my Aunt Betty. Aunt Betty is my Mom’s sister. Uncle Vince and Aunt Betty have been divorced for years and years now, yet always remained friends.

Through the years, my Uncle Vince had become one of my Dad’s best friends. They were poker buddies. My Uncle used to work in marketing at the Mandalay Bay out in Vegas before retiring to Tennessee, where half of my family now resides. I’ve written before about meeting in Vegas for family vacations every year and so our visits out there always included time with Uncle Vince.

When my Aunt Betty decided to marry Karl in November of 2000 at The Monte Carlo in Vegas, it was my Uncle Vince that “gave” her away. Karl was always a big enough man to accept and embrace the love our family had for my Uncle Vince, despite the fact that his new wife was Uncle Vince's former wife.


We’re all originally from Michigan. Aunt Betty and Uncle Karl moved to Tennessee first. Then my parents retired there a few years ago. Then my cousin Rachel and her daughter moved there (She is Aunt Betty and Uncle Vince’s youngest daughter). Then Uncle Vince finally left Vegas for Tennessee. My sister and I are the only ones left here in Michigan now.

When Uncle Vince was waiting for the closing on his home, in Tennessee, it was Uncle Karl who insisted that Uncle Vince stay with him and Aunt Betty until it was time for the move, rather than stay in a hotel.

My sister and I, and our respective broods, would vacation in Tennessee during the summer. You should have seen “our family” take over “The Golden Corral Buffet” when meeting for meals. With the restaurants long tables, and food choices to satisfy even the pickiest of eaters, this was the best way to get together all at once, without a big mess to clean up afterwards. It was so nice to look across the table at this wonderful group of people laughing and sharing life.


And so we have been “one big happy family” for years. I always felt special to be a part of this unique family, because it wasn’t just my Aunt Betty and Uncle Vince who made it work. It was my Mom, it was my Dad, it was my cousins, it was Uncle Karl, it was us. And I had the pleasure of viewing my ideal version of what family life could be like after a marriage no longer worked. You’d never know that “divorce” was part of the equation. There was no “ex-husband”, “ex-wife”, “step-Dad” drama. There was no bitter animosity. Never was there a threatened insecure “new” spouse.

There was just a lot of love from an incredible family.

And we miss him.

The Step Drama Conclusion

I picked up my kids this morning from their Dad's house. They've been with him and their Step Mom for the last 5 days. (They'll be with me and Step Dad (their other Dad, they call him) for the next 9 days.)

A conversation ensues as soon as I back out of ex's driveway.

Daughter - "Friday was the best day of my life. Chris (Step Mom) was having a complete melt down. She was throwing things, screaming and swearing."

Me - "How does that become the best day of your life?"

Daughter - "Because Dad finally yelled back at her. He told her she was self-centered and that he was sick of her melt downs and tantrums. He said that she thinks of no one else, but herself."


Wow! Hallelujah! Their Father is finally standing up to her. It's about freaking time!

He may actually NOT loose his kids if he can manage to retrain his 2nd wife on the proper way to behave and treat him and his children.


There's a favorite line that Dr. Phil always says and that is:

"You treat people how to treat you."

It's so true.!

Everyone's been walking on egg shells around Step Mom for so long now. Nobody wants to put her in her place or call her out because she's trying to have a baby and can't. Oh well... sorry about that. I honestly am. But you can't just be a witch forever because life didn't go the way you wanted it to.

And my ex-husband can't allow his wife to do and say mean things to our children because she is hurting over the cards she was dealt. He can't sacrifice our children because she is on hormones. I'm sure his wife isn't screaming, swearing and throwing things at her place of work. That wouldn't be allowed. But she's been able to get away with horrible behavior in her own home for so long and hopefully it will get better now.

Anyway... the kids are here now. They are excited about our vacation and are helping each other pack.

The drama is over for us for the next 9 days.

(But not for my ex-husband, I'll bet ... *wink* *wink*)

What Did She Just Say??

Five weeks ago, I gave the dates to my ex-husband for my two 9-Day, uninterrupted vacations, that he and I both get during the summer with our kids. These uninterrupted vacations over-rule our normal split custody.

I took my first vacation with the kids a couple of weeks ago.

My second vacation with them starts tomorrow (7/22).

My daughter calls me yesterday (Sunday 7/20) and here is our short conversation.

"I'm forced to call you."

"What's going on?"

"Dad & Chris told me to call you to find out what we're doing on vacation with you."

"Why?"

"Because they want me to go to Volleyball camp. I don't even want to go. It's not through the school. And we're going to be on vacation, right?"

"Well, when is volleyball camp?"

"Tommorrow."

"WHAT? Tomorrow as in day after today????"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm sorry, you'll be unable to go. We will be on vacation then. We're going to CP & SC for a couple of days."

"That's what I told Chris (Step Mom) and she said,
well... your Mom can change her dates on that."

NOW...

Insert LOUD HYSTERICAL UNCONTROLLABLE laughter here as I try to spit out coherent words in response to that RIDICULOUS statement...

"Ummmmm, *Snort* *ROTF* I am not changing my dates on anything. Have your Father email me if he'd like to discuss it."

"Ok, that's what I'll tell them."

And we hang up.


SIDE BAR 1:
My ex-husband and his wife are FOREVER signing my kids up for stuff, year round, non stop WITH never a consultation or inquiry to me about it. Even when it interferes with my court ordered parenting time. We have gone back and forth on this for years and I won't go any deeper into that drama today, but lets just say, that I am very accommodating to my children's' sports schedules because it's something my kids want to do. I adjust my schedule for my children.

I have let my ex-husband know that I will happily cooperate with schedule adjustments so that "J" (our son) can play hockey in the fall/winter and lacrosse in the spring. "S" (our daughter) can play any school sport or be involved with anything through her high school during the school year. BUT there are to be NO COMMITMENTS during the summer. If you choose to sign them up for "stuff" in the summer, they will NOT be available during my court ordered parenting time.

(As a Mother who values time with my kids, family & friends, I don't think it's too much to ask that my children have some "down-time" from constant commitments and continuous weekend games/practices/tournaments for the precious 2 1/2 months of summer vacation)

SIDE BAR 2:
Did I not give him/them 5 weeks notice on this vacation?
Do they have their heads so far up their a$$'s in attempts to produce yet another child to neglect, that they can't manage to mention "volleyball camp" a little sooner than TWO DAYS BEFORE IT STARTS??? HELLLLLOOOOOOOOO???????

We could have switched our plans with proper notice. My husband took 3 days off of work this week. We are NOT changing our plans with two days notice because they don't have their crap together. DUH!!



What NERVE! I can't even believe that Biotch had the hormonal balls to say "well... your Mom can change her dates on that."

But then again, I can.

You gotta almost feel sorry for the crazy woman. Poor thing. She can't control what we do on our time and it drives her batty.


So my daughter called today to tell me her Step Mom's response to us being on vacation at CP & SC.

"Chris said,... well maybe we're not going to pay for you to play volleyball and soccer this year, since you're obviously not committed."


WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY????

My vacation, planned FIVE WEEKS AGO! has nothing to do with my daughters commitment to her sports.

I am the parent. I made vacation plans with MY kids as I have the RIGHT to do.

DO NOT VISIT YOUR ANGER OF YOUR INABILITY TO CONTROL ME, ON MY DAUGHTER!!!

God! That Biotch makes me so mad. She's just talking out of her a$$ and is constantly making threatening comments such as that, like the immature baby that she is, just to hurt and assert her power over my kids.

Take your "hostile uterus" and Go to He11!

Cause "we're going on vacation!"

Stepmama Drama

I have avoided posting, in detail, the fact that my children's Step mom has been trying to have a child of her own with my ex-husband. (She has no children).

The go of it has been unsuccessful for them for at least of couple of years now.

Not that it is any of my business, I personally, along with many others, do not believe that my ex-husband actually wants any more children. He had 3 at one time, stopped talking to the oldest, has no idea how many times the middle one wants to walk away from him ... so, why would he really want to attempt his fate with more? I'm sure he "goes along" with his 2nd wife's desire and need to have a child between them, because... gee... what else can he do? Besides, if the child care responsibilities are anything like they were when I was married to him, she'll be doing most of the work, but I digress...

His 2nd wife has a "hostile uterus" as she herself has exclaimed the doctor's told her in one of her blog posts.

Really?

A hostile uterus??

Go figure, right??

Could it possibly be the cortisol that obviously runs through her veins from the constant stress she brings on herself, by trying to pretend I don't exist or ever slept with the man she is now married too???

She actually blamed me once for her inability to get pregnant, in yet another blog post, because I referenced the church I married my ex-husband in at one of my daughters volleyball games when my daughter was playing that same Catholic school. (Next time, don't sit so close to me and you won't have to eavesdrop on my conversations that aren't with you in the first place)

There I go again straying from the point of the post ... sorry.


Anyway, they/she tried everything, including in vitro as recently as July 4th of this year and apparently, the three eggs implanted, did not "stick".

I honestly do not take any pleasure in her inability to get pregnant. I'm not a hurtful hateful person. I am only interested how "what she does" and "what she says" affects my children. Period.


Unfortunately, my children are in "that house" while their Step mom suffers with her sad news, until tomorrow morning at 9:00am, when I pick them up for their next 9 day vacation with me.

My kids have called me often since they went to their Dad's Wednesday evening with claims of not being able to wait to get back home with me.

"We have so much to tell you Mom when you pick us up on Tuesday. Me and "J" (my son) can't wait to get out of here."


My kids aren't supposed to even know they're trying to have a baby. "They" (ex-husband and Step Mom) haven't discussed it with the children, BUT because of frequent screaming sessions and chats in "the crying room" (the basement where Step Mom goes to vent), used pregnancy tests found in the trash, and overheard phone conversations, my kids started asking me questions a long time ago and they know. DUH!

They know that "their college funds" have been tapped.

They know that "they" (ex-husband & Step Mom) can't afford ANYTHING. At all. Ever. (And that somehow, this is also supposed to be attributed to me, because Jesus H. Christ, ex-hubby had to pay me child support 5 YEARS AGO, when they DROVE the oldest daughter to come live with me full time. They paid child support for 9 months 5 years ago. Are they in debt over that???)

Did I stray again?

I did, didn't I?



So ... I imagine it's been pretty stressful over there at Dad's house this past week.

Understandably so.

Poor kids. I'm sure it's not been much of a summer vacation while having to deal with the trauma over there, yet not having the ability to speak of it or ask questions.

Tune in tomorrow when they spill the beans to me over our 23 mile trip back home ...

Jealousy & Envy

In my first marriage, I can remember feeling jealous and envious of friends and family more times than I’d care to count.

The reasons were always ridiculous and immature.


“They have more money than me.”

“Their house is nicer than mine.”

“She’s thinner than me.”

“Their kids are better dressed than mine.”

Blah… blah… blah…

What a waste of time and energy. Looking back now, I realize how unhappy I was. I was in this very unsatisfying marriage for years. It drained the life right out of me. I became petty. I could gossip for hours. I felt lonely and angry.

Ugggghhhhh. I cringe at the thought of that person I once was.


But when I married my second husband, my true identity came out and something within me really started to shine. I could honestly feel a physical/emotional change from the moment I fell in love with him. I laughed much more. Rarely found reason to raise my voice in anger. Gossip became something I had no time or desire to engage in.

I truly started appreciating the gifts in my life.
I became a better Mother, a better Sister, a better Daughter and a better friend. I can’t tell you how many times friends and family have literally said “I can tell you’re so happy” to me. I changed almost instantly and it was a fabulous difference from the woman I had been before.

I have not felt jealous or envious of anyone or anything in years. And I know it has to do with my husband.

I wouldn’t trade my happiness with him for anything.

Not for more money

Not for a nicer house

Not for a thinner body

Not even for better dressed kids ;)

His friendship and love allowed me to be the person that was always jealously and enviously waiting to live her life.

Triple Milled Soap

I like to shop at T.J. Maxx. For those of you not familiar with that store, I would describe it as a place to find nicer “name-brand” items at discounted prices. I would even go so far as to say, you can find unique stuff there too.

Most of the store inventory is name brand clothing. I’m not really into clothes (or name brand anything) It’s the small amount of luxurious bath products and few home goods isles that draw me in.

I love to smell all the lotions, fragrances and soaps. I’m forever tipping the bottles and boxes upside down to see if the price is reasonable. The prices, even at a discount, are rarely reasonable, in my opinion.

But every once in great while, when they have done their seasonal markdowns, I will actually find something at a good price and buy it.

About a year ago, I saw a lovely purple box of Lavender triple milled soap. The box was covered in a fleur de lis pattern and had a satin ribbon tab for opening. Over the two bars of soap sat a piece of vellum paper, claiming the soap to be hand made of the finest natural ingredients. When I turned this beauty of a box over, the red markdown sticker, on the bottom, read $2.00. “Mine” I exclaimed loud enough for everyone to hear as I gently placed the treasure in my cart.





Oh how I have loved this box of triple milled soap (whatever triple milled means). I’ve opened it often throughout the year to take in the scent of lavender. I enjoy the way it sounds when I lift the lid up by it’s regal lavender ribbon. The bars are embossed with “Fior di Campo” (again… whatever that means… sounds fancy)

I have been saving this special box of soap for almost a year. It has graced my dresser, my vanity and the bathroom counter at different times through out the past months.

I never intended to actually use the soap. I just wanted to “have” the soap.

Dare to use one of the special triple milled lavender $1.00 bars of soap? Oh, I couldn’t… I’m saving them.

Saving them for what?? Am I leaving them to one of my girls when I die? (I wouldn’t bother leaving them to my son since he has shown himself to have no use for soap ;)

Today, when I went to shower, I noticed the bar soap, on the soap dish, was only a sliver so I went in the linen closet to get another bar.

We’re out of bar soap….

We’re out of bar soap, except for the special triple milled lavender soap in the regal looking box.

Can I shower without soap? I think NOT!

So, I reluctantly took out a bar of my special soap for the shower. It was difficult for me. I was saving that soap.

But, I’m OK now. The soap was really creamy and smelled delicious. I may actually use the other bar sometime, though highly doubtful.

The $285 T-Shirt

My husband has a favorite T-Shirt.

Wait a minute…

My husband has MANY favorite T-Shirts. He has a bunch of IT (Information Technologies) shirts that he gets through the work he does. He’s got a bunch of Detroit sports T-Shirts. He has two large dresser drawers devoted to nothing but T-Shirts, but I digress.

One of the T-shirts he wears a lot is the $285.00 T-shirt.

A couple of summers ago a group of our friends and family flew out to Las Vegas to vacation together. Although we enjoy staying at the Treasure Island, we often find ourselves down at a little joint called O’Shea’s. It’s this Irish themed casino right in the heart of strip, located somewhere between The Flamingo and Bally’s. They always have drink specials and you can play Black Jack there for $5.00 a hand.

This particular summer, O’Shea’s was running a promotion for Black Jack players. If you got a same suit Black Jack, you got a really cool O’Shea’s T-shirt. The shirt says “I got lucky at O’Shea’s” pictured with this cute rockin leprechaun on it.

Well… don’t you know, I won “my” T-shirt within an hour of playing on the first day we were there. My husband and I stayed to play Black Jack for hours that day, hoping that he could win a T-Shirt too. He didn’t. So we went back the next day. My husband had plenty of Black Jack’s… just no same suited Black Jack hands.

He wanted a T-Shirt in the worst way. You couldn’t buy them. They weren’t for sale. You had to win one. I offered to give him mine. (I don’t really wear T-Shirts anyway) Nope… he wasn’t having that. It’s not the same as winning one. He was becoming obsessed. Would somebody please get this guy a damn shirt already!

Jesus H. Christ… $285.00 later, he won his T-Shirt.

Thank God!

He wears his shirt to death. The other day, he wanted to wear it to a friends house for dinner, but when he went to put it on, I noticed a stain on the front.

“Sorry, honey… you can’t wear that shirt today. I can get the stain out with a bleach stick, but not before we have to leave.”

Oh my Gosh… poor guy. He was bumming.

I let him wear mine ; )

Company Inspires Cleaning

My sister and her two kids came over on Tuesday to spend the day with us. They were to arrive around 11:00am so that we could take the kids to lunch, go play a game of Lazer Tag, take a spin in the bumper cars, and then come back to my house for an afternoon in the pool.

My 15 year old daughter had done her weekly chores a couple of days earlier, but my son had not yet. So, I called him downstairs to do his part. He had to sweep and mop the kitchen (Whoever invented the Swiffer mop, I thank you from the bottom of my heart), empty all the trash cans (there are 6 of them), shake the rugs on the front porch and sweep it too.

I found myself wiping down the guest bathroom, vacuuming the living room, my office and my bedroom, cleaning the master bathroom (even though it's in our room and nobody will be using it cept hubby and me).

There was a time, back in my 20's (some 20 years ago) that my whole identity seemed to sadly revolve around a clean house. I was ridiculously obsessed with every detail. I had regular cleaning rituals each day and would get so anxious and downright crabby every time I threw a party or had company coming over. Geeze... what a looser!

I'm not that person anymore. Housework is way down on my list of priorities. I'm not a slob. Our home is always neat and I will scrub out a toilette if I've waited long enough for a ring to form, but I no longer have a cleaning day.

With the help of teenagers, the general surface housework gets done weekly around here. The kids dust, vacuum, clean their own bathroom, mop, sweep, unload/load the dishwasher, fold and put away their own clean clothes. They get paid an allowance for this and it really relieves me of a lot of work.

But thank God, we have company once in awhile, cuz it is then, that I really take a closer look at the things that may have been neglected for longer than they should have.

I should invite some friends over this weekend. The house won't be this clean for months.

My Smoothie Morning

I'm trying to take some weight off this summer and although I don't/can't do the no-carb diets, I have found that low-carb eating works well for me. Staying away from high carb foods helps me loose weight while not being hungry. (I hate being hungry)

In my efforts to find healthy alternatives to cereal for breakfast, I have become obsessed with fruit Smoothies.

Today's fruit was fresh raspberries from our garden, but I love them with pineapple, mandarin oranges, mango, blueberries, strawberries or 1/2 banana. Once all the ingredients are added together, it makes almost 2 Cups of drink and it keeps me full till lunchtime.

My cute little 2 1/4 Cup blender is just perfect for the job.

I start most mornings with the following recipe.

2 TBS Milled Flax Seed
1/3 Cup Light & Fit Vanilla Yogurt
1 Cup Vanilla Soy Milk
2 Scoops Whey & Protein Powder
1/3 Cup Fruit

That works out to about:

333 Calories, 10 Grams Fat, 7 Grams Fiber, 20 Grams Carbohydrates, and 36 Grams of Protein

YUM!!!
Good Morning Y'all. Have a SMOOTH day!

I Couldn't Be Happier

My husband and I had a delightful 4th of July weekend together. The kids were at their Dad's, so we had lots of time to do stuff and "nothing" together.

We swam in the pool on Saturday and played board games out on the back deck well past darkness. It was so fun. We listened to music, slept with the windows open and ate breakfast with fresh raspberries from our garden.

Our little 3 year old granddaughter came over for a visit and of course, we just love spending time with her.

Then when 9:00am on Tuesday FINALLY arrived, thus began a 9 day "uninterrupted" vacation for me and my children. And so far, I have savored every moment of it. You may or may not know what it is like to be without your children for periods of time. It is, sadly, a casualty of divorce in my situation. On one hand, I'm am happy that their Dad chose to remain a part of their lives. He wouldn't settle for being a weekend Dad and I do commend him for that. On the other hand... days go by that I don't see my kids. In the beginning, shortly after our divorce, being apart from them was excruciating for me. I couldn't make it from Wednesday to Sunday without some kind of meltdown from missing them. I always ended up in tears by Sunday at 6:00pm. But as time has gone on, I've been able to adjust to the schedule. It is what it is. I learned to accept it.

And so, since my kids have been here, we've been hanging out together. Eating together on nights that they are usually with their Dad. Watching TV shows that they are sometimes not here for. Playing cards. Swimming in the pool. Watching movies. Playing volleyball. Making brownies.

There is more laundry this week. The dishwasher is running every day. There's grass all over the back stairs and towels strewn over the chairs on the deck. We're running out of food.

There are still 6 more overnights together.

And I couldn't be happier...

Solicitors

I had two solicitors knock on my door yesterday.

The first solicitor was a girl, about 18 or 19, selling magazine subscriptions. She was very well spoken, very polite. I think she said that she was earning points for something to do with college.

I told her "no thank you" as politely as I could. I honestly get a ton a magazines. My mom, sister and I subscribe to many of them and share.

Then she wanted to know if I wanted to "donate" a subscription.

Again, "no thank you."

She practically begged me.


Later in the day, a young man knocked on my door. He looked to be around 20 years old. He was nicely dressed in a shirt and tie.

As soon as I opened the door, he shoved this can of air freshener in my hand claiming it to be a free gift. I was a little shocked and stunned. He was talking so fast and bouncing up and down on the porch. He asked me if I would accept his free gift and I said, well... I guess so. He thanked me and said, "I'll be right back." He ran to his car parked in front of my house and out pops another guy, around the same age, dressed the same way, and they both proceed to head up my porch steps with this big box. I said "What is this all about?" And one of them said, "Oh, we'd just like to show you some cleaning products."

I said, "Oh, no... I am not interested in seeing or buying cleaning products. I don't clean." (lol)

He said "That's ok, I know you're not going to buy anything, but I just want to show them to you."

I said "No, I don't want to see them. My husband will be home any minute and we're going out." (It was Wednesday night = Date night)

He said "Just let me clean a little area of your carpet."

I said "We have hard wood floors."

He said "I can clean that too."

No thank you.

Good God!!

I feel really sorry for the people who subject themselves to this kind of door to door sales tactic. Does anyone really ever buy anything?

They are relentless and don't take no for an answer.

I don't like to be abrupt or rude, but Gosh... it was really annoying to have to fend off two of them in one day.