I am the MOM and I was here FIRST!

My photo
I am a 44 year old mother of three children and grandmother of one. I am divorced from my children's father whom I share joint physical custody of our youngest two children with. I have been married to my fabulous husband for over 9 near-perfect years. I LOVE this man! He is a wonderful generous, affectionate, tolerant and all forgiving husband. He is also a terrific step-dad/male role model to my kids and an even better grand father to our two year old grand daughter. My oldest daughter attends college to obtain her nursing degree. She has been on her own for over three years now (no longer part of a shared custody arrangement like her brother & sister) My middle daughter is in high school and plays on the freshmen volleyball & soccer teams. She's really creative and talented. My son is in middle school and plays hockey and lacrosse. He is a sweet sensitive boy who still says "I love you Mom" frequently. I work part time running an online ebay store. I have terrific and supportive relationships with my family, friends and of course my kids. I am extremely close to my sister, my Mom and my sister-in-laws. They are my best friends.


Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Evil Step Monster Is At It Again

The horrible evil Step Monster is at it again. She has spent the weekend spewing hateful hurtful comments at my two youngest kids.

My son had a hockey tournament this past weekend. It was hosted at the home ice arena of the hockey team that my oldest daughter used to play on. Her team, the Michigan Capitals won the State Championship, for their AAA travel hockey division, back in April of 2002 and then went to Alaska to compete for the National title.

So, as State Champs, my oldest daughters hockey team picture is still proudly displayed in her home ice arena's showcase. My son and younger daughter were so excited to see their sister's picture. My son was told by his Father "NOT" to mention the photo or his sister to his team mates. My son told his team mates anyway when his Dad wasn't around. I am so proud of him for that!! My two youngest kids are barely allowed to acknowledge the very existence of their older sister when they are with their Father and Step Monster. Because my oldest daughter no longer has a relationship with her Father (because of Step Monster), Ex-husband and Step Monster like to pretend that she no longer exists.


When my youngest daughter mentioned the hockey picture of her older sister to her Step Monster, her Step Monster said, "Well, if your sister wouldn't have gotten herself knocked up, she'd still be playing hockey."

What is really CRAZY about this comment is that the reason my oldest daughter stopped playing hockey is BECAUSE HER FATHER STOPPED PAYING FOR IT 4 DAYS BEFORE THE SEASON WAS ABOUT TO BEGIN! Step Monster convinced my ex that it was just too expensive and that if "they" were going to ever be able to move away, (from me) he would have to eliminate that bill.

I believe that my oldest daughter's Father taking away the very sport that almost identified who she was, and rejecting her, had much to do with her getting pregnant at 18 years old. She was an honor roll student every year. She was a talented hockey player, the top goal scorer for her team, with huge potential. She was being scouted by 2 colleges for hockey scholarships. She graduated from high school with honors and academic scholarships. She was a great kid who is know a GREAT young woman and GREAT Mother despite her Father's betrayal and absence.

And for that horrible woman to say such a degrading UNTRUTHFUL thing to a child who loves, adores and looks up to her big sister is nothing short of EVIL. It's HATEFUL!!


The ice arena that they were at for my son's hockey tournament is in my neck of the woods. So ex-husband/ Evil Step Monster and the kids wanted to go to Buffalo Wild Wings to eat dinner. My youngest daughter obviously knows her way around our city as she's lived here her whole life. So she says the street name of the Buffalo Wild Wings near our city of Lincoln Park.

Step Monster says, "We're not eating in Stinkin Park."

Daughter says, "It's Lincoln Park, NOT Stinkin Park. I don't like it when you call it Stinkin Park."

Step Monster says, "No... it's Stinkin Park."

Daughter says, "My Mother lives in that city and I live in that city and I don't like when you call it Stinkin Park."

Step Monster says, "No, you don't live in Stinkin Park. We moved you out of that city. You live in Canton."

Daughter says, "I live in Canton with my Father 1/2 the time and I live in Lincoln Park with my Mother 1/2 the time."

Step Monster says, "No, you live in Canton with your Father. You go to school in Canton. Your Dad's address is what is listed on your school records."

Daughter says, "I don't care what address is listed on my school records. I live with both of my parents. One lives in Canton. One lives in Lincoln Park."

Step Monster says, "Well, I don't care... I"m still going to call it Stinkin Park."

Side note:
The city that I live in is the same city that my children live in when they are LIVING with me 1/2 of the time... it's the same city that my ex-husband shared a home with me and lived in for 6 years .... it's the same city that my ex-husbands Aunt/Uncle live in, right around the corner from me.... it's the same city that borders the city of my ex's parents home that they've lived in for over 20 years now.

My kids are getting old enough now to stand up and fight for what they believe in. They used to show indifference, out of fear of fighting back, to nasty negative comments about me, or their sister, or the city that I/we live in. But the kids are growing up. They don't like having their identity and loved ones trashed anymore.

Their Dad and Step Monster can pretend I don't exist. They can try to deceive my son's team mates about him having an older sister. They may fool the school into thinking that the kids only live with their Father and not me too. They may even delude themselves into thinking that I am only a visitation to my children and not an actual participating parent.

None of that matters to me or to my children.

After all ...
The relationship between my children and I, that endures and grows, despite evil attempts to extinguish it, ... does indeed exist.

And we grow stronger with each one of their efforts to snuff it out.


Minnie said...

Sorry, it's me again... I think my chin is on my desk.

I cannot even begin to imagine what the hell is going through this woman's head (if anything.)

Is she a teen-ager?

I am the MOM said...

Hi Minnie, I do get a notification when someone comments on my blog. I moved to the following URL quite awhile ago:

My children's stepmom is truly just about unbelievable. The stuff she does and says.. I couldn't make this crap up. If you go to my new blog, you'll see a series of recent emails that I've sent to my exhusband in regards to her behavior towards my kids. I'm trying as hard as I can to protect what is left of my children's relationship with their Father, but this chick must be determined to get rid of my kids. After all, if she couldn't take them from me, apparently they're not worth having around.