I am the MOM and I was here FIRST!

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I am a 44 year old mother of three children and grandmother of one. I am divorced from my children's father whom I share joint physical custody of our youngest two children with. I have been married to my fabulous husband for over 9 near-perfect years. I LOVE this man! He is a wonderful generous, affectionate, tolerant and all forgiving husband. He is also a terrific step-dad/male role model to my kids and an even better grand father to our two year old grand daughter. My oldest daughter attends college to obtain her nursing degree. She has been on her own for over three years now (no longer part of a shared custody arrangement like her brother & sister) My middle daughter is in high school and plays on the freshmen volleyball & soccer teams. She's really creative and talented. My son is in middle school and plays hockey and lacrosse. He is a sweet sensitive boy who still says "I love you Mom" frequently. I work part time running an online ebay store. I have terrific and supportive relationships with my family, friends and of course my kids. I am extremely close to my sister, my Mom and my sister-in-laws. They are my best friends.


Tuesday, October 16, 2007

The answer of avoidance

My 12 year old son's stepmother had him cornered not that long ago while she attempted to get him to answer a question about me with a response that suited her agenda of making me look bad.

Side note:
My ex-husband and his wife continually sign the kids that I share joint physical custody with up for nonstop sports all year long without any consent or input from me nor any regard for what I or the kids may want to do when they are with me. Sometimes I am unable to comply with their plans for my week with the kids. Most of the time, I go ahead with it for the sake and peace of my kids but God forgive me when I make wholesome family plans during my children's time with me that doesn't include the animosity and negativity of my ex-husband and his overbearing wife packed into hot gyms and cold ice rinks.

So the conversation went something like this:

STEPMOM: "So... what do you think about your Mother not letting you go to hockey this weekend?"

Side note:
We were taking the kids to an indoor water park resort for a weekend getaway in the dead of winter... I know... "terrible parents".

My 12 year old son stood there trying not to answer the question because his answer would NOT be what his step mom was hoping to hear. He was excited about the water park, but couldn't tell her the truth because that would make her mad. He wasn't going to lie. So instead of answering her question, and with the intent of changing the subject, he looked at her and said...

"Are you trying to grow a mustache?"

The story looses something as it's told in writing as opposed to my son (oblivious to the hilarity of his comment) innocently telling my family about it. He was not trying to be mean. He does not know why we find it so funny. He answered her question with a question of his own to deflect the attention away from the current uncomfortable inquest from her.

Any time someone in our family (parents, kids, sister, aunts, uncles... even friends) asks an uncomfortable question or if we simply don't know how to answer one another, or want an easy chuckle... we answer with "Are you trying to grow a mustache?"

It has become our choice answer of avoidance. And it makes us laugh every time one of us utters it.

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